A laidback afternoon for me would be a good time in bed, wearing a lingerie, with my feet brushing through the soft and warm feel of my sheets. That’s my way of hibernating especially when the rain won’t stop outside and the cold wind would numb every tip of my body. But while hibernation means slowing down and a state of inactivity to conserve some useful energy, it will keep my mind awake and my imagination to soar far across thousands of miles between me and my boyfriend – then daydreaming and fantasies start. Unnoticed and unconsciously, my afternoon has just dug another hole in the core of my missing and longing.
And so that I would not end up with tears when I transition from hibernating, I liberalize myself with other stuff that interests me. I would match this slow phase with reading – a piece of book or magazine or browsing through the net. Because I consider these laidback moments serene and a perfect time to be alone with myself, I always see to it that I get sensible resolve for my personal issues, inhibitions, doubts, aspirations, etc. Topping my list are usually the topics where I can immerse myself well. And so, sustaining and surviving a long distance relationship always frequents the search engines of Google.
I have always been confident that no matter how high and sturdy the walls are and how endless the distance is between two people, as long as the faith for love is strong, they will always end up together. But on one occasion during a friend’s party, I had some good conversation with my high school pals and one of them, out of bitterness proclaims that long distance relationships rarely survive. In a snap, I felt a strike inside my head – I saw myself in the same situation and I didn’t want to lose my grip on what I have always believed in. It made me pull the trigger to find out why and so I asked. He had just ended a 4-year relationship with his girlfriend who’s working in an Arab country. They tried to make communication lines open as always as possible but they could not afford to stand missing a lot of each other and so before things would get even worse and sweet moments become sour, they decided to cool off at first; then, eventually broke up and let time dictate their destiny.
The whole long distance breaking-up story of my friend created questions that since then have lingered in my head – reality and fairytale. Whenever I search for topics to read, I would always key in stories of long distance relationships. It even bothered me that most of those I read, at least 80% says that loving from miles apart would usually lasts for awhile and eventually both would realize that they want someone closer.
And so instead of reading through heart-breaking stories, I switched to searching for tips on how to make love across the distance work. I got to read creative ways of how each day would feel like you are physically together, some ways of flirting while on chat, messages that will heat him up and call for a hot phone sex, etc. These are just a few of them. And so I have come to my realization that I should no longer be doubting my long distance flame.
From those helpful tips, I wanted to be creative on my own – thought of ways on how I can make my man hard in just soft whispers over phone calls, how I can make him wanting more even without real sex, how I can make him think about sex all the time.
Of course, before I could start with my plans, I needed to safeguard myself in such a way my man wouldn’t notice that I am initiating the flirt. I didn’t want him to create that kind of impression on me. I wanted to stay just as how he knows me.
The perfect time has come – while he kept on telling me that he misses me so badly on a skype night, I started licking my upper lip so he’d notice the gesture. I know that whenever I do that, he’d turn hard and would want to start the game. Then he popped the words I waited for so long to hear – he wanted to do me online. I could feel every bit of his urge and so I continued to touch my lips with my fingers. He likes it when I do that. I slowly reached through my top tank from my neck down and I could see his beaming eyes wanting to see more of my flirting. Then I stopped. I needed to reserve some for the next. I shouldn’t be giving him all at once.
More skype nights came and we became more comfortable of being intimate online. After the sweet skype sex, we will discuss stuff about us, share our everyday experiences, talk about our lives apart, crack funny jokes like what we do when we are together, patch issues we never discussed, reminisce the good old days…and so on. Unnoticed and unconsciously, we become closer, love has grown deeper, attitude towards our relationship becomes more mature, we no longer mind the distance between us – we feel more secured.
The thought that long distance relationships are hard to nurture and sustain may come from those who are afraid to take risks and get hurt. I have a different view with that of my friend when he decided to break up with his girlfriend because he cannot stand missing her so bad. For me, the more I miss my boyfriend, the more my love grows stronger.
Picking him up at the airport for each year’s vacation has always been like the first. The excitement never fades; it’s even more intense every time.